Monday, December 29, 2008


We are in the home stretch of 2008. Time to rally huh? This also marks the start of the cliched resolutions. Every year I usually to the same resolutions, and every year I decided that resolutions are stupid and asinine and dumb. (this usually happens on Jan 2.) Every year I vow to loose weight, I actually did that this year, a couple of times. I know...pat on the back. Last year I had a new one, that I will again adopt for this year. Let it be. Yup, mind blowing huh? I vow to just let things be. To live in the now. Can't dwell on the past, have to learn from it and move on. Don't force things because if it's meant to be it will be.
The end of the year is like Lent for Catholics. Quick, do everything you're not supposed to be doing, and do it in abundance because Jan 1 is a clean slate! This New Years I'm going to go Hog Wild. I'm going to drink more than just 2 glasses of wine, maybe take a shot? Who knows. And for the new year, I will actually fold and put away the laundry instead of living out of the clean clothes basket for a week. Maybe I will put the clean dishes away instead of pulling them out of the dishwasher until I have to use it again. Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves...

Friday, December 19, 2008


Those words have become my mantra the past few weeks. I stubbed my toe "everything happens for a reason" Maybe that happened to teach be to watch where the heck I'm going. I got a speeding ticket "everything happens for a reason" That was most likely to teach me that cops suck and they are all out to get me.
I find these words comforting when dealing with a recent break up. It doesn't change anything, or make anything easier, it does force me to think about what I'm supposed to learn from it. My conclusion...boys suck! Most boys suck. My latest, did not suck. Which is a new phenomenon for me. The vast majority of my breakups were causes by two actions.
1. They cheated
2. They were a total asshole.
This break up (as far as I know) was based on timing, career, distance, and the future. All things that are completely out of my control. Which makes it even crappier. I was forced to delete said ex out of my phone for fear of calling or texting him in a moment of drunken weakness. *Never a good idea* I deleted my myspace and facebook pages to regain a little bit of my privacy back. (blogs don't count)
While he is dealing with his own career struggles, it brings up career struggles of my own. "What am I doing? Where am I supposed to be? Am I doing what's best for me and my son?" UGH. Stuff that was perfectly fine pushed way down inside me with no chance of coming out and having to be dealt with. BOOOO!
Things I thought were fine in my world, are now brought to the forefront for me to meditate on. "Am I really happy living where I am? Would moving have really been that bad?" Lot's to think about, nothing to worry about. It is what it is. If it's meant to be, it will be. All personal favorites in dealing with stuff too heavy to really "deal" with. So, I'm left with everything happens for a reason. I'm still trying to figure out the reason behind this...

Wednesday, December 17, 2008


Call me Oprah...actually...don't. But around this festive holiday time of year. I like to make a list of things I can't live without. I'm secretly hoping that everyone I love and or tolerate, will shower me with all these amazing things I "need". And every single year, I'm gravely disappointed. Alas cyber world, you will all know my hearts greatest desires.

1. A Roomba! I mean come on! A vacuum that does it's job while you're away! For those of you who really know me, you all know that cleaning is not one of the things I covet. So, why not make it easier for me!?

2. Blowfish Wildlife boot in Black! They are currently $109 at the Blowfish Malibu shoe site...just a thought.

3. Miz Mooz Jessy Boot in Black! They are on sale at Nordstrom, go hog wild.

4. A new set of skis! Preferably K2! I promise, once I get these I will ski my ass off! Seriously

5. With those skis, I will need all the super hardcore skier accessories IE. pants, coat, mittens, goggles, maybe a cute hat. We'll talk.

6. Camo Uggs! Seriously, who doesn't need a pair of Uggs that conceal the whereabouts of your feet?

7. The new Coach Graffiti Tote in White! It's been so long since I've had a new Coach bag! I need one! (really whiny voice)

8. A few new pairs of Jeans, I LOVE Seven for all Mankind Boot cut! Since I'm losing all this weight, I'll need to replace my current pairs. (all braggy braggy) True Religion "Joey" stretch jeans! Hudsen Jeans Triangle pocket boot cut stretch jeans (Scorpio). Love them All!!!

9. Soy Mate Lattes! It's a sad day, when I have to go a day without one!

10. Brand new Audi A4 3.2 FSI Prestige Quattro in Phantom Black with Black leather interior, Walnut wood decorative in lays and the 19'' spot biggie.

For now, that's enough things I covet. I'm sure there will be more!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

I've found my Calling

Improv Theatre! Yup, you heard me right. We had our office Christmas Party last Saturday, and the Up Front Theatre Improv group was there to entertain. And Entertain they did!! After a few skits, the actors thought it would be fitting to call up some volunteers. My table (bastards) thought it would be brilliantly hilarious to nominate me! (see, I told you they were bastards).

This is me, with my human doll. Basically, me and another agent had to use the actors as our dolls, they spoke, but we had to move their limbs. We had to act like we were playing a tennis match.

Hilarity ensued.

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Club Jetta has been wounded!

I know what you're all thinking!
"Erin crashed YET ANOTHER car?"


It wasn't my fault! Really!! I know, nothing is EVER my fault, but seriously, when it comes to crashing cars, it IS NEVER my fault!

Side bar: I know Club Jetta is in desperate need of a wash...all in due time!

November 26 is the date to check out the damage, and see how much it will cost to fix it. Yeah Insurance (theirs, not mine). I was really hoping it would be totaled, but alas the car gods were not shining down on me that day! So, hopefully sometime in December, Club Jetta will be back to her stunning self! Stay tuned, snow and ice are coming, Club Jetta may be set out to pasture yet.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

I should really start jogging!

Those are the words that fly out of my mouth no less than 4 times a day. Every time a cute little jogger girl prances past my ground floor work window, a little bit of envy surfaces in my suppressed feelings. And not just when it's the cute little jogger girls, but the like ancient-walked-with-dinosaurs-coulda-edited-the bible-guys zoom past with not even a sweat and merrily wave at me sitting on my ASS in my office working away (read-myspacing).
Every single day, I wake with intentions to lace up those runners, strap on my I-Pod, start up my Gym Mix Play list, and run all around town. And every single day, I convincingly come up with something I'd really rather be doing! UGH!
We are now in the final week of our office Biggest Loser Contest! I'm in a very braggable 3rd place! Just behind the 2 dudes who are participating. It's crunch time. No, not actually getting on the floor and doing crunches ha, as if! I mean, I'm ready to pull out all the stops. Better late than never huh?
I looked into obtaining Crack Rocks and Meth, but realized it just wasn't in my budget, and after googling photos of Meth addicts, I realized I really like ALL my teeth, and clear skin. One of the contestants suggested drinking toilet water to induce vomiting...thinking about that one. I'm not above laxatives and starvation. I can neither confirm nor deny that I might or might not be slightly addicted to green tea, and cran-water! All about flushing the system.
So, I revisit the jogging idea. I know a lot of people have really lost weight doing this. (shocking huh) Looks like I'm going to have to give a little more thought to this whole jogging thing...the saga continues.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Ryan Martin is the Anti-Christ!

You may think I’m a little exaggerated in my depiction of this man, but don’t be so quick to judge me. Instead, be quick to judge RYAN MARTIN. Let me paint you a picture!
Here’s what I know about Ryan. He works with me, he drives a Volvo (douchbag right?) ((huh, douchbag didn’t come up in my spell checker, funny)) and he is a huge SeaHawks fan. I know what you’re thinking, I don’t know much… neither here nor there.
We are having a Biggest Loser Contest at work (not personality), and we are currently at our half way point. The winner get’s $200, there was a $20 buy in, and we are tallying percentage lost, not pounds lost. So He, whose name should not be spoken, is currently mopping the floor with the competition. He’s at like 8% lost, and we still have 3.5 weeks to go!! His strategy is an honest one. He’s doing the South Beach Diet, and actually exercising! UGH I KNOW!!!!
So the real reason Ryan Martin has earned the title of Anti-Christ is because he is winning and I AM NOT!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

My Best Friend, let’s call her Kim

Not only did she marry one of, if not thee most efficient UPS men at their April Nuptials in the Vast Metropolis that is Lynden WA. She single handily planned the entire wedding. If the Lynden Tribune had a society page, she would grace its cover 9 times out of ten. She would be the Paris Hilton of Whatcom County, but with morals, and friends, and less animals.
Her April wedding was nothing short of a story book affair. When asked to be her Maid of Honor (I know you were all wondering when this story was going to come around and be about me) I was not only thrilled beyond all get out, but I was also very expectant. You see she already promised me the position WAY before she had the groom lined up. She claims I received the invite to the position because she didn’t want her Maid of Honor to outshine her. I claim that I got the position because I’m very compliant, and willing to do WHAT EVER it takes for a tiny sliver of the lime light (maid of honor toast, standing right next to the bride and groom during the ENTIRE ceremony, and all the PICTURES, I mean forget about it) Well, that and our 20 year friendship aside.
I was a little anxious to see ol Bridezilla come out and play during the year of their engagement. But to my surprise, she never came out. I was politely asked (read: DEMANDED) to send her a daily e-mail for the two weeks leading up the event, capturing in graphic detail, how amazing she is. Always up for the challenge, I conceded. Not only did it totally Blow her Mind with my complements, and praises, and went above and beyond her expectations. I’ve always been an over achiever (not even a little bit true).
This year Kim is the Chair-person of our celebrity status Relay for Life Cancer walk in Lynden. She’s a new wife, veteran mom, and full time Insurance peddler extraordinaire. She my moral voice of reason, my mom when I’m being stupid and stubborn (that never happens) and my back up baby sitter. She’s my sounding board for all the rants about the stupid things my boyfriend and son do (always happens), she’s quick to point and laugh when I fall flat on my face both figuratively and literally, but also the first to help me up. Needless to say, she is one of the most amazing people I have ever met, and I thank God for her every single day.


So, me and my 6-year-old are driving in the car, on our way to Day Care listening to a not-so-local radio station. Being the Commitment-Phobe that I am, I'm not overly Loyal to any station, or genra of music. The Morning DJ and his co-horts are in the process of discussing testicles. Not super surprising given the ethical content of most morning radio shows. The mom in me is battling the curious Young (27 is still young) -mind-always-in-the-gutter alter ego as to whether I should turn the station, or turn it up in order to hear the outcome. When from the back seat I hear
"Yeah" --Oh holy shit, Did he hear the word Testicle? I'm pretty sure he doesn't know what that word means. But if the DJ had said " Nuts" or "Balls" He'd be in fit of Hysterics thinking about "those things under my PP"
"That guy on the radio is crazy!"
stifling laughter "Oh yeah? Why do you say that?"
"He said Testicle! I think he meant Tentacle."
Oh, my animal loving 6-year-old is so innocent.=)